Phineas and Ferb does not belong to me.
“So, Perry the Platypus, I was thinking about this Zon Joshsyn earlier, and I remembered some more facts that you might find useful.” Heinz is sitting across from the platypus having tea at a small table.
Perry’s eyes widen slightly, and he pulls something out of his fedora. He throws it to Heinz, who catches it. “A hearing aid? Perry the Platypus, I’m not that old.”
“Krrrr!” Perry motions to his mouth, then to the evil scientist’s ear. Heinz looks at him suspiciously, but puts the hearing aid in his left ear. “So, is it working?”
“Oh… It’s a translator.” Heinz laughs a little. “I thought that you were telling me that you had put it in your mouth or something.”
The platypus smacks his forehead sadly. “Sometimes, Doofenshmirtz, I really just want to punch you. And other times, I just really want to cry in sympathy.”
“Hey! What’s that supposed to mean?” Perry had forgotten that Heinz could understand him.
“Never mind. What’s this new information about Joshsyn?” Silence. Heinz is just staring at Perry incredulously.
“You think that I’m an idiot, don’t you? Just for that, I’m not going to tell you about Joshsyn unless you tell me something in return.” Heinz narrows his eyes at the platypus.
“First, I don’t think that you’re an idiot. You’re an amazing inventor. Second, what do you want to know? How democracy works? I’ve kinda wanted to share that information with you for a while.” Perry sips his tea.
“No! I want you to tell me who my daughter is dating.” The scientist blinks a couple times as his mind processes Perry’s statement. “You think that I’m an amazing inventor?”
“Well, yeah. Your -inators always work perfectly. You know, before I blow them up.” Perry thinks about the many times that an -inator has hit the invention that Ferb and Phineas were working on that day. “And trust me. Inventing is something that I’m definitely familiar with.”
“Thank-you, Perry the Platypus. You know, I just realised that I forgot to curse you earlier. Sorry for the break in routine.” Perry shrugs. He really doesn’t mind not being cursed. “So… who is my daughter dating? Seriously, I really want to know.”
“Why don’t you just ask her? Vanessa is entirely capable of answering questions.” Perry drinks some more tea. The first time Doof had offered Perry tea without an obvious ulterior motive, Perry had been cautious about drinking it, but after five years, Perry looks forward to having tea with his nemesis.
Heinz rolls his eyes. “She may be capable, Perry the Platypus, but she doesn’t ever answer my questions. Especially if they’re about her love life.”
Nodding, Perry presses some buttons on his watch. He looks up at the clock on the wall. “7:00 pm? Wow… I’ve stayed really long. Here, I just need to call somebody, then I’ll answer your question.” Perry finishes his tea, grabs a cookie off a plate on the table, and heads out into the hallway. He calls Ferb. “Hey, Doofenshmirtz has information on Joshsyn, but he won’t give it to me unless I tell him who Vanessa is dating. If I tell him, you will probably be subjected to many pestering phone calls and interviews. If I don’t tell him, Joshsyn and Roddenstein will most likely take over the world.” Ferb blinks twice, confused.
“Are you still at DEI?” Perry nods. “You do realise that you left at 4:00, right? Phineas is panicking.”
“Oh, sorry. Tell him that I’m all right. So, can I tell Doof about you and Vanessa?” Ferb thinks for a moment.
“You should ask Vanessa too.” He nods. “But It’s okay with me.” Ferb hangs up, and Perry calls Vanessa and explains the situation to her. She thanks him for asking her, and agrees.
Perry opens the door to head back into the penthouse apartment, and Heinz practically falls through the now open doorway at his nemesis’ feet. “Oh, hey Perry the Platypus… I was just scratching my ear on the door.”
“Sure you were, Heinz. What did you hear?” Perry sticks out his hand to help Heinz up.
“Well, I was having trouble hearing through the door, so I went back to my bedroom to find my Eavesdropping Amplifier-Inator, but I couldn’t find it, then I remembered that I accidentally blew it up a couple days ago, so I came back and pressed my ear against the door very hard to try and overhear, but then you opened the door and I fell over at your feet.” Heinz thinks over what he has just said, and looks down at Perry. “I guess that I could have just said that I didn’t hear anything.”
“Do you even remember the important information about Joshsyn before I tell you who Vanessa is dating?” Perry leans against the now closed door, looking up at Heinz.
“Well of course I do. I actually wrote it down, because I really don’t want to be one of Rodney’s subjects. I mean, sure, I’m evil, but he’s just cruel.” The scientist pats his lab coat pocket gently.
The secret agent smiles slightly. “Vanessa is dating Ferb Fletcher.”
(Yes, I believe that Heinz is an amazing inventor. He may be incredibly... stupid sometimes, but most of his inators work perfectly. In the words of the evil scientist himself, "Hey, all of my inators work! It's just that, you know, I...I don't use them properly. I have poor planning skills." -Phineas and Ferb Save Summer) Please Comment!